“People couldn’t believe that I was saying no for any other reason, they had to assume that my marriage was falling apart. It took everything in my power to not do the thing that was perceived as right, but do the things that was right for me, that was a hard thing for me to do.”

– Michelle Obama discusses why she chose not to attend the second inauguration of President Donald Trump in January, during a recent episode of her IMO podcast that she co-hosts with brother Craig Robinson. The decision came shortly after she missed Jimmy Carter’s funeral, where she would have been seated next to Trump. Although Obama’s step back from the spotlight after the new year sparked rumors of bitterness and marital issues between her and former President Barack Obama, the former first lady tells podcast guest Taraji P. Henson that she is embracing the “art of saying no.” While the decision may not have been the “right one” according to protocol, the bestselling author says it was simply “the choice that was right for me.” 

Known for “going high when they go low,” Michelle says she even tricked herself out of changing her mind at the last-minute by not preparing a dress at all. She explains to Henson, “I was like, if I’m not going to do this thing, I got to tell my team, I don’t even want to have a dress ready, right? Because it’s so easy to just say let me do the right thing.”

During the episode of IMO podcast, Michelle Obama and Taraji P. Henson also discuss living life under a microscope and the criticisms Black women face. Watch it below.