Remember when that phrase “There’s an app for that” was really popular? If you don’t really know how to go down on your lady…well…
“Lick This” is a new smartphone app that teaches your tongue how to work it in the bedroom by having you perform varying movements with your tongue by licking your phone screen. Exercises include “Up & Down”, “Circles”, and “Freestyle”–I don’t even want to know what that last one entails.
For those of you who, like me, were immediately grossed out by the prospect of licking your phone screen, the creators suggest you ‘wrap it up’ with saran wrap. Like a dental dam….for your phone. Dear God, help us all.
According to Fast Company:
“Do we think you’ll be a better lover because of it? No,” says co-creator Chris Allick. “Do we think it’s an interesting approach to human computer interaction and making people think about their sexuality and maybe start a conversation? Totes.”
The fact that this man used the word “totes” in an interview clues me in as to how something like this got created.
Listen, if there’s anyone out there who wants to learn how to properly go down on a woman I have a tip: Go down on your woman. Ask her what she likes. Many women will direct you as to what they need. Do not download this app and give electronic oral sex. That’s going way past the line of where technology should meet.