Recently my very good friend got married Carrie-and-Big-just-the-two-of-us-style, at the courthouse. Quiet and intimate in a way most don’t choose. Yesterday I attended their wedding reception, held for all of us who were not at their wedding. The joy I feel for her is great and if anyone deserves that much love and happiness she does. Yet, I still find myself having the same conversation with all of my friends, and inevitably the same question is always asked…Is marriage worth it?
My parents have been married for over 40 years. Just writing that sentence is amazing! But it has not been without its own drama, and times where they felt like giving up and divorcing. But my parents also got married at a time where people had to pick up the telephone and call each other to speak, and cell phones did not exist let alone texting, Facebook, Instagram, or twitter. Their generation also had a different mindset, which was that you grow up get a job, get married, and have kids, and in that order. Now you don’t really have to grow up, and can have kids while you’re still a kid and get a reality show out of it, and don’t necessarily have to work a 9-5 to have a “career”.
Last night I spoke to my girlfriend who got married a little over a year ago and she made the statement, “Well we made it through our first year, and we argued and felt like we may have made the wrong choice, but thankfully we made it through.” In our generation the first year is the hardest, but in my parents generation the first year is the best and its not until you reach year 15, 20 or 25 that it gets hard.
Now people get divorced 6 months after marrying, or separate when their first major problem arises, or even worse cheat the entire time they’re married, not fully allowing themselves to “be” married. So what does this say about us and our generation? Are we lazy, impatient, quitters who don’t want to put in the time and effort it really takes to make a relationship work? Or are we emotionally jaded, sexually uninhibited, or not ready to handle the “business of marriage?”
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