I like shoes, I like to buy them, wear them, and match them up with my moods and outfits. I love to travel, eat out, and get up and go whenever I want. I love to spend my money how I please, spend time with my family and friends, and I love kids, but … here is the kicker … I do not want to have any children. I am 33-years-old and have no inkling whatsoever to have a baby. The funny thing is people either do not believe me, tell me I just haven’t found the right person, or think I do not like kids.
Kids are amazing … The way they see the world, the way they learn, their smiles and laughter melt my heart. I have spent years teaching and babysitting children, but the desire to have one of my own has never surfaced in my psyche. As a young girl we are taught through fairytale stories, television shows, movies, etc. that you grow up, get married, and become a mom. Many women feel the essence of becoming a woman is being able to give birth to a child.
Having a child is — from what I’ve seen and been told — an amazing, painful, exhilarating, loving, heartfelt, and challenging moment in a woman’s life that she will literally never forget. Well you know what moments I will never forget? The time I was in Nordstrom and bought my first pair of James Frye boots on sale for $300! Now most people would say I was crazy to compare my shoe buying experiences to having a child, but that moment is a moment I will never forget. And that moment makes me happy.
Since when did loving yourself, and your life the way it is, and with what you already have become such a bad thing? Why can’t I choose to live a life independent of children and fill it with the many other options out there for a woman today? Do those options include shoe buying? Well, yes. They also include traveling. I’ve been to Jamaica three times, Hawaii on a cruise with my friend, and am planning a month in Europe. None of these options would — for me at least — be feasible if I had a child. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a child, and that option suits most women just fine, but that choice at this point in my life, is not for me.