Although I don’t consider myself a relationship expert (hell, I don’t even think such a thing exists), I’ve learned a lot about love from my past experiences. Even more importantly than that, I’ve learned a lot about myself and the ignorant mistakes I’ve made during the dating process that has me currently single right now. But I gain the most insight about sex, love, and relationships when I talk to other people and hear their stories. And being a relationship writer and public speaker has granted me the opportunity to hear out many different voices. So with that said, ladies, there is a message that many men have shared with me, that I would like to communicate to you today: One of the main reasons so many of us run from commitment is because the woman we’re dating constantly moves faster than the speed of chemistry.
For men, the speed of chemistry refers to our natural, mutually-beneficial, and joint inclination to progress the relationship forward. Whether it’s deciding to become monogamous, or to move in together, or even to get married, men like to believe that these decisions were executed at exactly the right time, with exactly the right motive from both parties. No dude wants to feel pressured into a decision about the relationship like a quarterback being blitzed and forcing a throw into coverage. We want to become monogamous with a woman because we naturally and mutually saw the benefit in it — but if we feel like the woman we’re dating is moving faster than the natural momentum of the relationship, then we’re OUT.