By Alissa Henry
“It’s unrealistic,” a guy friend told me one day when we were discussing the subject of only having sex with one person until death do you part. “Even if I were married to Beyonce, I’d still cheat. It’s not about looks. All men cheat on their wives and the ones who don’t are lame.”
James was attractive, slightly older than I am, accomplished and a certified ladies man. If they gave out degrees in bed hopping, his would be summa cum laude. He said he wanted to be married one day, but he also said he wanted to divorce at 40 and start all over again. “Monogamy is cool for, like, the first year,” he told me. “But after that, no way.”
It’s these types of men – and the women who share those same ideas – who would do the institution of marriage a favor by never getting married. Or at least they should take care to marry someone who agrees with the fallacy that the best thing about sex is novelty.
Men and women like James believe monogamy is unrealistic simply because they lack the experience and the desire to be committed to one person. Some eventually commit, either through coercion or the misguided belief that a ring changes anything fundamental about them, and they end up stepping out on their marriages. We can all recall those at the center of several affairs that made headlines in the past few years: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rupert Sanders, Chad Johnson, and Tiger Woods to name a few. When that happens many wonder if the hurt, pain, and humiliation could be avoided if only we’d abandon the “one person until death (or divorce)” requirement of marriage.