Courtesy of EBONY.com
Ever wonder why some women seem to have an easier time in relationships than others? Sometimes it’s plain as day why a woman’s love life repeatedly play out like a version of an over the top reality show. After all, there’s no way you can have a healthy relationship with an active addict, as their primary connection is to their “drug” of choice (be it alcohol, sex, work, etc). Or, if you can only afford to shop at Mandee or Old Navy and believe that a man should buy you Gucci or Prada, it’s safe to say that your selection process in a potential mate will be somewhatskewed – to put it lightly.
Almost everyone I know says they want to love and be loved. And almost everyone has struggled at some point in their lives to achieve this seemingly basic need. More often than not, the reason why relationships fail is based upon the individual unresolved issues that play out in the way a couple interrelates.And while some of us have very real emotional issues that prevent us from successfully partnering, from what I’ve seen, many of the problems women face in their relationships with men come from the way we position ourselves in the beginning. It’s common knowledge that people treat you the way you let them. This may be a trite saying, but it’s a timeless truth. It’s impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone else until or unless we love ourselves first.
So in the spirit of levity, I want to offer my sisters the following four common mistakes we make when dating. I know that missteps aren’t limited by gender, but the following are behaviors I’ve seen repeatedly in women who “love too much.” (Or shall I say, love others first):
1. Being Too Available: When he phones, answer. As a matter of fact, keep it with you at all times (even when you’re in the shower) and be sure to not let it ring more than twice. You wouldn’t want him to think you’re with someone else, do you? Also, never turn down any of his invites to spend time together. You can get your taxes done another time. After all, that’s what extensions are for. Message sent: “The most important thing to me is being available to you. My personal life is disposable and runs second to our relationship.”