When on a date, a man should be able to be himself,  whether than means jeans or slacks, collared shirt or Ed Hardy tee, corduroy jacket or blazer with a ridiculous design sown in. If that’s him, that’s him. And if the woman he’s out with compels him to step up his efforts or change his appearance as he grows increasingly enraptured by her presence, then so be it.

Men are inspired by women that make them want to be great without repeatedly making it clear that they expect it. They’re kind. They’re positive. They think of others before themselves. They’re not reactive. They don’t need to see a kind act in order to perform a kind act. They may expect greatness, but it’s because they inherently see it in everyone they choose to associate with. This is the type of woman that makes us want to be the best representation of ourselves, rather than a false representation just to win the game. And like I tell my lady friends when they start talking about the problems with men, dating, and courting:

It’s fine to know that you deserve the best. It’s not fine to expect it before you show the best of yourself. I guess the question is are you being your best self or are you just sitting there and expecting it from somebody else?

Expecting nothing but a good time,

Slim Jackson is a Harlem-based relationship and life blogger that toggles in tone and keeps it 100% real. It always goes write. Follow him on Twitter at @slimjackson and check out him out on his personal blog, www.therealslimjackson.com.