A few days ago, The Married Man at Hello Beautiful wrote a charming little piece entitled “5 Ways to Keep Your Man From Cheating.” As soon as I read the title, I rolled my eyes. Like, literally. I plucked my eyes out of my head, cupped them in my hand, and shook them up like they were sunflower seeds because the standard eye roll just wasn’t dramatic enough. I don’t know about you all, but I’m weary of men lecturing women on how to behave in relationships and teaching them how to not screw it up (as if every failed relationship is a woman’s fault). So, I have a few ideas, too, and I’d like to take you all through them in a little piece I’d like to call “5 Reasons That This Advice Doesn’t Make Any Sense“:
1. “Give him some good love.” Come on, now. A jerk is a jerk is a jerk. You can get up before the sun, make sure your hair and makeup are perfect, butcher your own hogs and bake your own bread for breakfast, feed it to your man, go to work, get a promotion, come home, clean the house, pluck a chicken for dinner, feed it to him again, birth three babies, get them ready for bed, blow his mind in the bedroom, write him a love poem, and read it to him while rubbing his feet every night while wearing stilettos, and guess what. If he wants to cheat, he’ll cheat anyway. He’d probably say your shoes were the wrong color. How insensitive of you.